Sunday, October 25, 2009

Teens smoking and parents who allow it;?

My daughter has several friends who smoke. Their parents allow it and buy them the cigarettes for them. My daughter doesn't smoke, but her friends do. I know some are asking how do you know for sure your daughter doesn't smoke? The reason I know she doesn't is she complains to me, her father, and her friends about smoking. She can't stand the smell and hatesit if I smoke in her car. What my true question is, since her friends' parents allow them to smoke should I go ahead and let them since I smoke? I don't really know if I have the right to tell them NO?!! They are my daughters friends and I don't want them to hate her because of what I think about them smoking, but I also don't like the idea of them smoking at their age!!
Answer:
first how old is your daughter? if she and her friends are "under-age" and are getting cigarettes from adults that is illegal. and does not model what a adult should do.

if she is old enough to smoke. why are you buying cigarettes for them?


no you should not allow your daughter to smoke. it will be a slow suicide!
say no it can kill her and you 2 so just stop!!!
What are you comfortable with. If they are at your house and you do not like it tell them they can. I was a teen smoker and had friends who didn't. I had some parents who let me and others who didn't. I didn't like any of them differently we were all best friens.
You should tell her friends that it is not right. Smoking can cause heart disease. And it is very bad for you. Just tell your daughter things like "I am very proud of you for standing up to per pressure". And say "You are making a good choice." " If you would have started it would have been really hard to stop."
You can preach all you want but, kids are going to do what they want to do regardless of what us parents think about it. I am fortunate in the fact that my children also hate the smell of cigarettes. I grew up with both parents as smokers and I HATE the smell of it and my mother does not smoke in my house or my car. Second hand smoke is not good for anyone and if I were you I would be more concerned with your smoking around your kids than what her friends are doing.
I would say your not in a position to tell them they are not allowed to smoke unless they are in your house and or car, which you could clearly set various regulations. Other then that there isn't too much you can do. Clearly these kids are old enough to make certain decisions.
Fine example you're setting, mom.

Quit smoking yourself before you hypocritically frown on others doing it.

We're all stupid about something, but most of us don't show it on our faces five minutes out of every thirty.
Ahh NO!
It is illegal and you can be charged with child endangerment and aiding and embedding the illegalities of a minor. Not to mention, you are risking a civil suit from the parents and the kids if they get sick or something happens.

The best thing you could do is talk to their parents and inform local authorities. I mean if they allow smoking for kids, chances are there is freedom to alcohol and other substances.

What are you thinking even questioning this?
Don't give in. Stay strong, maybe start setting a good example for her by quitting. If they are really her friends, they will respect her as a non-smoker. My daughter asked me, when she was 4 mind you, why I smoked. She asked me why I wanted to die and kill her too! I quit right then. Think about it!
If you feel uncomfortable having them smoking than tell them not to when they are around you. Im sure they will understand. but you can't stop them from smoking just because you don't like it.

good luck
Since they already smoke and you smoke yourself, I think you need to let them smoke. I am also a smoker and my personal rule is since I smoke in the house, everyone is allowed to smoke in the house. My daughter is young still but when she is a teen if she has friends that smoke I will allow them to smoke.
If they are underage, buying cigarettes for them is illegal and you can get into trouble for buying them cigs. i agree with some of the ppl above that before you start criticizing other parents maybe you should work on your own smoking habits first. Saying no to them smoking in your house is the first step in becoming an authority figure to your daughters friends. If you say yes now, it will come back later when they are asking to have drinking parties and pot smoking in your house. I never understood why parents would buy cigs for their kids, i mean they are expensive! y would parents want to spend that much money to get their kids cancer causing sticks!? Be a role model mom and stop smoking yourself before criticizing anyone else. the first step is to take the speck out of your eye, then you can say whatever you want to say about the plank in the other's eye.

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