When I was young my mum used to have a bit of temper and slam doors etc. Thing is, I have silly tantrums where I throw things during arguments with my boyfriend. I want to change and hate my behaviour! It's so hard... Please tell me if you have tantrums, what you do when you are having one and if you know how I can control them cos I am beginning to dislike myself very much! Thank you
Answer:
Hey, you are not acting like a spoilt brat! Everyone has a different way of dealing with things, your's just isn't the best right now, you just have not found an outlet for your anxieties yet. You have taken the first strp though, you know that somehting has to change. I would look up relaxation techniques on the net, and speak to your doctor. The woman who mentioned meditation was right, it puts your whole body at ease.
I wish you look girl!
I used to have temper tantrums and I've found that some kind of daily meditation and grounding has helped. Also, yoga is a great way to center the mind and strengthen the body. Attention to diet is also important; eat lots of leafy greens and ease up on sugar and caffeine. An important word to keep in mind is "balance".
No I don't, just remember you're all grown up and not a spoilt child !
I have a temper but I think it is a bit of a cop out saying you cant stop yourself throwing things at your man.
Get some willpower and stop blaming your childhood.
My friend used to have tantrums up until recently and she is now seventeen so its not unusual. Just practice some relaxation techniques like counting to ten slowly while breathing. Also just learn to look back at your behaviour and laugh at yourself. It will lighten your own views of your behaviour and will hopefully calm you down and put you in a good mood.
Good Luck
I used to have temper tantrums up until the age of 20 or 21. It was behaviour I learnt off my father who had them when he was well into his 40s.
I stopped having them when I didn't get any attention for them. My flatmates at college totally ignored the fact that I trashed my room when I felt frustrated etc. That got me thinking how ridiculous my behaviour was.
There's a myth that we are out of control when we have a temper tandrum as an adult. Children may be out of control but not adults. The reason why adults continue to have tantrums is because they believe they can get away with them. You think/thought your boyfriend would put up with it and still be there when it was over. It could be that there's something about your boyfriend that infuriates you and perhaps the relationship won't work out or, it's to do with the way you handle conflict in general.
Either way, you have to decide for yourself that enough is enough.
I think it's good that you want to change. That is a sign of maturity.
1. Know that you won't resolve things well or help the relationship by yelling or throwing things.
2. Remember that the respect and care you have for him as a person is more important than venting.
3. It is never, ever okay to hurt someone and if you throw objects or say awful things, that is wrong. If you feel guilty about it, well...that's a good thing.
4. Here is what helped me: LEARN WHEN YOU NEED TO TAKE A BREAK. That's what is going to help the most. Tell him that the next time you feel yourself getting upset you are going to go take a break in another room or just outside. He shouldn't follow you or keep trying to talk about the upsetting issue until you are sure you have calmed down.
After you are calm, if you get upset again, go take another break. Do NOT try to talk about things when you are very, very upset. I don't care if you have to wait days to talk something over.
After you practice taking breaks it will be easier (over time) to stay calm during discussions. But first you have to set new patterns and break that cycle.
Some people find it helps to rate their upset. "On a scale of 1 to 5, with1 as totally at peace and 5 as unbridled fury, I am at a 4 and need a break fast!"
try and enjoy yourself, life is too short.
go for a long walk to calm yourself down and the situation, then seek proffessional help from your gp who should be able to refer you to anger management classes etc.
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