I work as a lifeguard in a day camp, and in one shift when I have pre-school and giving instruction, all the kids are in the water besides one. At first I thought he was scared of the water, but now I am starting to realize that he seems very distrustful of adults, if anyone goes near him he will back away. I wanted to see how he would react so I put my hand abosve his knee and he freaked out. I was talking to another life-guard who is a psych major and says he looks like he could be abused. But my other friend said he could be tactile defensive and overly sensitive to touch. Could it be abuse, and what should I do, since I am not in the position to do anything, but do not want to stand back if a child is being violated.
Answer:
I do not know about the child in question, but I am the same way. I just do not want to be touched. I still have a hard time with folks getting too close to me, I'm 45 years old now. I was abused very early on, and very often. I think you should try to discretely get help for this child. It may not be abuse, but it never hurts to be certain.
I just wish people had been so concerned about it when I was a child. Maybe I would not be "damaged goods" now, if someone had intervened for me.
Madformac, that's why I wanted to hurt myself, and why I take anti-depressants now. I was not attacking you earlier.
I think it could definitely be a sign of abuse. I would call child services and ask them for advice.
I hear the dilemma that you are in what you could do is talk to someone in child services explain that you are concerned why you are concerned and what you have been told already and maybe ask them to come there undercover type thing so that no one is alarmed they are trained properly in this to recognize the signs of an abused child then if they suspect it they can do the proper investigation and take whatever action neccesary I don't know if they do the undercover thing but they can observe the child and talk to him too
You mentioned pre-school..is there a teacher you can talk to that maybe has some more information concerning this child.
If the child has a tactile disorder, the teacher should know about it. If the teacher doesn't know of anything medically wrong with this child..there may be some abuse going on.
I would try other resources before you go calling authorities. Maybe the child is just scared.
Also, if the child is in a bathing suit you should be able to see some physical signs of abuse.
If you are in a day camp, you are responsible to report any hint of child abuse. Explain what the symptoms are and make sure someone follows through on having him evaluated.
Good for you that you noticed this and are trying to do something about it. Kids are so vulnerable and need people to watch out for them, people like you.
Hi Futuredoc:
That is a tough call to make. But I have a son who is autistic and when younger had so many sensory issues. Tactile Defensiveness was one of them, a BIG one.
How is he with a towel, does he cringe from it? His bathing suit? The sand on his feet as he walks bare footed thru it? How does he react to the water that touches him? How about the muddy, rocky sand he needs to stand on in the water?
I would watch these reactions and then you and your 2 friends can discusse it and see what you come up with. In the meantime check with your boss and see what the policy about a situation such as this is.
But regardless of the out comes of any of the above, it is your duty as a human being to protect anyone you feel is in possible harm or danger. Even if there is the slightest question that someone may be being abused, report it as a question of abuse. Because I know as a person and a Mom if one of my children were being abused and I did not know it, but I was interview as a possible abuser just for being his Mom, sure I would be put out, no question but in the end the only thing that matters at all is the safety of that little boy.
If it turns out that there is no abuse going on, then I think all should thank you anyway for caring enough about his safety and actually being one of the few in this world that wasn't afraid to get involved and help.
It's a tough call (many people would not even question Tactile Defensiveness, I find that very interesting. But report it for you and the child.
Be safe and be well
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